going through the motions

sometimes i feel i'm just doing everything on auto-pilot.. at least i fear that whatever i do in front of others is just that: a front

i can be such a two-faced person... equally comfortable talking to christians and non-christians in the lingo that they prefer.

it's not so bad what i do in front of non-christians.. but i do often doubt the words and actions which i 'perform' before my christian brothers and sisters.

it's such a show, without heart. I know exactly what i have to say and how to say it in order to get a response. What a charade! :(

how then can i be sure of my own motives?

if i have ever misled anyone i am sorry. If i've brought false hope for the sake of my own glory i'm sorry. If i've neglected God almighty, i am truely lost.

Please let me find my way back