things that bother me / and things that i cherish

one thing that bothers me more than most is poverty

not that i have a thing against poverty, but the fact that when it occurs there's almost always an example of decadent wealth not too far away.

to see people suffering under such conditions (which i have to admit are unbearable for me), it really hurts. But to see countless others ignoring their plight daily is even more painful

I wish there was something more i could do for them

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In a play i saw last night there was a scene in a Japanese prison camp where the prisoners were overworked, were going crazy with hunger and starting to lose their minds. Amidst it all there was a missionary who started softly to sing 'Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me...' to which all the prisoners stopped their wailing to listen.

it was that point where i was most touched and really just wanted to weep... There amidst the chaos was something real, bigger than anything on earth, and more peace-giving than 3 stable meals a day.

The fact that Jesus died on the cross not to save us from physical hunger, but from our spiritual hunger. To never go hungry again and to never thirst once you've had it quenched by the Living water.

What an amazing thing to cherish... especially for a wretch like me

something to ponder

how many times have we said this:
'don't worry, i've got my handphone with me'

or something like
'if i get into trouble i know i can call someone with my phone for help'

lost my phone recently and i know how painful and helpless the whole debacle can feel

made me feel i should have changed it to: 'don't worry, i've got GOD with me' and 'if i get into trouble i know i can call on GOD for help' instead

where is your source of strength and peace of mind found?

oh me of little faith

i still am finding it such a struggle to have faith.

even after all the wonderful things God has shown me, the wonderful lessons i've learnt in the bible and the numerous reminders from friends

why can't i just let go of some things and let God use me to the fullest?

it's disappointing...

but i'm glad that God's never given up on me...

last week at work

can you believe it's been 6 months already??

gosh, it feels like yesterday when i was that awkward kid sitting here at my table. waiting for stuff to happen.

and then God intervened... and yes, i've not regretted any of it

sure there've been ups and downs and i'm sure there's no small number of things i could have done better for His glory. But all in all it's been a fun experience... i thank God for the friends He's given me here and the numerous things i've been taught about architecture.

I will miss my colleagues loads and loads... hope that i can keep in contact with the ones i'm closer to for years to come! Also hope that i've been able to see Christ through my actions and words... know that's a part of my life that's still a work in progress. :P

but hey, as a preview of working life when i finally graduate.. this has been my best. :)

leaning on the wrong understanding...

which just so happens to be my own.

just been reminded again of the futility of relying on my own thoughts and understanding of so many things.

my own human logic is so flawed, why do i then give it so much weightage?

oh that i would rely more on God's wisdom than my own.

great are my faults... but greater is God's mercy and teachings...

Proverbs 3:5-6 "trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight"

what a beautiful verse

what a day for cycling! 1 sunny day, 2 local boys and 2 friends from overseas, 4 bikes and 4 sore bums.  

another day...

another bombing.

woke to find out about the bombing in the UK. Msged my friend there and he's fine, which is a great relief.

so sad though that while millions continue their lives as per normal while hundreds suffer from the scars of witnessing something like this for the first time.

it's been years since the bombs of WWII rained havoc in the 'developed' countries of the world. We've become so used to a normal life free from such chaos and violence that surely these punctuations would help us to appreciate our lives all the more?

and yet, do we have to wait for a tragedy to occur before we finally open our eyes and seek some deeper meaning to this life we live?

Being a christian doesn't mean that i'll have a peaceful and successful life. Neither does it guarantee me a life without pain and suffering. But what i do have is the peace of knowing that God is there with me throughout all this and that He's already planned my steps before i take them.

already in these past 6 months alone, i've encountered so many things that cannot just be mere coincidence. I'm so overjoyed that God has been so gracious to me.

Now as i ponder the UK leg of my europe trip, i do know that if it is His will for me to go there, i will go there. And if He has a greater plan for me along the way, i hope i'm ready for it. :)

going through the motions

sometimes i feel i'm just doing everything on auto-pilot.. at least i fear that whatever i do in front of others is just that: a front

i can be such a two-faced person... equally comfortable talking to christians and non-christians in the lingo that they prefer.

it's not so bad what i do in front of non-christians.. but i do often doubt the words and actions which i 'perform' before my christian brothers and sisters.

it's such a show, without heart. I know exactly what i have to say and how to say it in order to get a response. What a charade! :(

how then can i be sure of my own motives?

if i have ever misled anyone i am sorry. If i've brought false hope for the sake of my own glory i'm sorry. If i've neglected God almighty, i am truely lost.

Please let me find my way back

uncontactable

was reflecting a bit on how we sometimes rely on the instant messaging capabilities of our modern world to keep in touch with people the world over.

thanks to the relative convenience by which we bypass the miles, we never place as much emphasis on keeping in touch and we take for granted the distance that separates us.

but there's one place that our friends can go that we can never contact them... and that's the after-life. No email or sms could ever penetrate that. And it's a good reminder that we should never take our friends for granted, nor the time that God has given us with them on this earth.

Also, i'm so thankful that i can eventually meet my christian friends again in heaven. What a comforting thought

time sure flies...

... no matter what you do

it's been over 6 months since i got back home... already i'm into the 2nd half of 2005 and i can't believe how surely goes on and on.

looking back i'm already not the person i was when i first left my overseas home on the 20th of Dec 2004. And that's so excellent! I'm glad that i'm changing, and slowly becoming someone different. Who knows who God is moulding me to be in this life?

I'm still challenged by so many things though. Being home with overprotective, 'fussing-over-you' parents as well as struggling in the hectic local workplace have been interesting experiences. I don't know if i've truely honoured God with my attitude at all, but i'm glad that i've had time to think and reflect.

Indeed we all have our fair share of demons to battle with... but it's great that we have a greater source of strength and peace to help us weather these storms.